What Do You Do When You Can't Sleep?

Try to sleep. Insomnia=not sleeping. It doesn't mean getting shit done in spite of no sleep.

There's no such thing as productive insomnia. That's just mania, and anyone who tells you they do shit when they can't sleep is bipolar on the quiet tip.


Note: If you can't sleep, you're actually not supposed to lie in bed for more than 15 minutes because then you start to associate your bed with the inability to sleep (a la behavioral conditioning).

"Have you tried warm milk?"

What do you mean "tried" it? I used to get that shit from Starbucks with a shot of hazelnut. Shit was delicious. That was during my youthful high school days.

Before that, I was breast-fed. So yes, I've tried warm milk.

Do you mean for sleep? Like will this somehow lull me to sleep? Because I have to go through the whole process of warming it up. And when I'm up in the middle of the night with no sleep, my motor skills are impaired.

This leaves me with having to worry about two things: 1. Exploding milk in the microwave. 2. Third-degree burns from milk up-splash from cooking it on the stove.

Let's say I get the milk warm successfully. I am old now. Lactose is just not the same as it used to be.

Have you ever farted yourself awake?

Explanation of "Ask An Insomniac"

In my 10+ years as an insomniac, people seem to have OD questions for me. I will take all of them. I may not answer all of them, whether due to sleep deprivation or straight-up I don't wanna.

Check it out though. Mad insomnia. Ask me questions.